A Little of This and That

Hi.
How's it going?
Maybe I really should write this post as a letter, or better, an email to whoever is reading. I actually almost named this blog "Letters to June" so that my wirting would reflect the casual way I just launch off emails to my friend chronicling my day, the frustrations, the funny stuff, celebrity obsessions . .you know. I really don't have any celebrity obsessions, but sometimes I make my little comment or two on what's happeing with the latest celebrity couple, or what celebrity just had a baby and what she (or they) nammed him or her. (Jack is popular, . . .Apple??) I will say, if you ever come up with a really cute and orginal name that you want to keep "safe" for your own use, just pray a celebrity doesn't use it. My friend June that I referred to regularly talked about using the name Ella if she had a girl. This was long before either of us had kids, and I have to say I was a little jealous when she told me. Man, what a GREAT name - if only I had thought of it! But, then John Travolta and Kelly Preston named their little girl Ella, and now Ben Stiller has a daughter - also Ella. There is a little Ella in my mom's group at church too. I don't know that it's completely over-used, saturated, or as my husband would say, "has jumped the shark", but it's just not AS original as it once was. Just think Maddison, or Madeline about 10 years ago. (Two names which I loved and still do . . . .Maddy is the cutest . . . but it's like the name Jennifer when I was in school . . .always at least one, if not two, in all my classes.) Well, June has two boys, so the whole girl name thing is off the table . . . for now.

OK, on to props to other bloggers. I was introduced to Crib Ceiling by Mel, and her "Milkandjuice" post is so right on the money. It's about what one thinks being a stay-at-home-mom will be like versus the reality of being one. Lunches with friends - hardly ever. But, ear infections, cranky pre-schooler needing lots of comforting, endlessly messy house, and all that . . .ok, that's the reality. (At least it is for me for the past week and a-half - and I only have one!) Here's an excerpt that I just had to quote:

"But barring keeping the full time day care – YOU become the full time day care. Providing three meals and two snacks a day. Changing, clothing, holding, comforting, reading, playing. Cooking, laundry, pick-up. Playgroups, parks, grocery store. There’s not a lot of time in there for, oh I don’t know, lunch with girlfriends and volunteer work, let alone your novel or other secret project."

If you can, go read the rest of it because it's great.

In reading it all I could think of was "expectations". They can make or break our experience of anything. If I expect motherhood to be blissful moments of adoring my child, carefully crafting my discipline strategies so that my child is obedient, respectful and pleasant, and meal planning to make dinnertime flow seamlessly, then I might be just a little bitter when I have a baby who is colicky and unconsolable, a toddler/pre-schooler who has temper tantrums, throws things, and actually has emotions of anger, frustration and disappointment - oh, and the meal planning goes completely out the window and you end up eating lots of pizza and McDonalds (not all the time, but there are certainly seasons.) It's just plain work and the kind almost no one else sees throughout most of the day. From now on I'm just going to expect everyday to be challenging, difficult and madening, and then I'll have a day every now and then when I'm pleasantly surprised. When I ask my child to come and get his diaper changed he'll just walk on over to me and say "ok mom" and I'll pratically throw him a party 'cause it wasn't a disaster. And we can laugh. Laughing about whatever always makes it better. I tend to forget that part.
Ok, bye for now!