Technical Difficulties

That's what's been going on here lately. . . so getting on to post has been a bit hit and miss. Hopefully today will be more of a hit. (Computers drive me crazy!)
Lots to say, even more that has been swirling around in my head, but not really alot of time to flesh it all out here. My son just went down for a nap and I have quite a long list of tasks to accomplish while he snoozes.

Ever have those times in life where you're just not finding your place? There's no group of people or place that you go where your on the same page of life as everyone else. Maybe in a sense I fit on the mommy-track page, but as far as my faith experience goes, I'm on a much different page than most. Christ is my Savior, and I believe I've been adopted into God's family and I have received (and will ultimately receive in Heaven) His inheritance. But I am in a "valley" in a lot of ways, and although I believe God is in that valley with me, maybe even carrying me at times, He's a very silent fellow traveler. I offer up my requests, my heart, everything that is going on and there is mostly silence. Most of my "major prayers" are going unanswered at this time. In my head, or based on my knowledge of who God says He is in His word, I know He has a plan and it is for my good, but the reality I live each day can be gut wrenching on many levels. I used to be one with a faith that truly believed that there was a verse for whatever I was going through, and I just needed to find it, focus on it, live it and all would be better. Well, that just isn't the case anymore. I find that if my faith is even going to survive some of the trials, I have to grab on to a major tenet like, 'God loves me', and hang on for dear life.

So, maybe the computer glitches are here for a reason. When it seems like one's prayers are hitting the ceiling it's alot like getting a computer message: "technical error". I know that God is much more reliable than my computer(s) - in fact more than any person on this earth - people will always disappoint, but He has promised never to forsake me. Maybe He just seems silent, but what he's doing is stripping away my people saftey net, so that I will seek to only look to Him for fulfillment, joy and a sense of purpose, instead of looking to others. Alot to think about.
Mabye it was better that I focused on this post before my "chores", so as I do my mundane activities I can think about Him, His promises and what I can be grateful for.