While I Was Out

Yes, I was gone for a few days. I had every intention of putting an "out-of-office" type reminder here on Sunday . . . but it just didn't happen. Husband went on a business trip and little boy and I went to visit my mom. She lives in a very rural part of North San Diego county . . . I feel like I go back in time a bit when I'm there. Her town has no major name large grocery store, no gas station (ok, one at the local Country Club - for members only), and all roads are 2 lane. The community is situated in the midst of orange and avocado groves and it smells wonderful in the springtime.


So, I'm back. Little boy is done with his antibiotics and I'm feeling better, too. Something I have not mentioned here before is that my husband and I attend marriage counseling twice a month. It's helpful and our counselor is very understanding and helpful, especially when our life gets pretty hectic. Why am I mentioning this? I'm about to tell you.

In going to marriage counseling, I found there were issues that I really needed to deal with on a more personal level, but the counselor we see is a man, and I felt I should see a female counselor in a one-on-one setting. I found my new female counselor through a few references from church. She seems to "get" my issues, and my first session with her is great. I emphasize that I can't make a weekly commitment at this time (limited childcare being my main issue), but I can let her know week-to-week what will work. She emphasizes how much she has a heart for SAHM's and understands the need for flexibility. She even lets our first session run long because I was running late. I make a second appointment, but just a day before the appointment little boy gets sick and I realize I can't leave him with my SAHM friend to possibly infect her children, AND he needs to go to the doctor. I call and explain and she lets me know her other available times for the week in case: a) he gets better and b)I can find childcare on a different day. (She remembers this conversation also including something about scheduling for the following Monday, but I don't catch that part - AT ALL) I realize by Wednesday that I now am sick,too. Trying to reschedule is out for this week. I go to call her to relay all this, but I can't find her number. I lost her card. My paper with alternative numbers is also missing. (Story of my life). I think, "Hopefully she'll call me back and we can reschedule for sometime next week.". Although, I know my days are limited for that week because I already have plans to vist my mom.

Fast forward to Monday. I arrived at my mom's Sunday evening, and it's now Monday morning around 10am. My cell phone rings. I answer and it's my new counselor. She tells me we have a scheduled meeting - right now. I think I said "We do??" in a rather surprised tone. I explain that I don't have anything written down on my calendar, but I also apologize for missing the appointment. (to me, the appointment never extisted, but I'm apologizing anyways since it's an inconvenience to her). What's odd to me in all this is her tone on the other end. She's angry and bugged. I apologize again, and then explain that I wouldn't have made the appointment because I had plans, in fact I'm near Escondido . . . . right now . . . visiting my mom. She still sounds very bothered, and I then thank her for calling me, especially since I lost her number. I ask for her number and while she's giving it to me I get the impression she doesn't believe me. Why would I make-up losing the number?!!? I hang up. And now I'm mad. What occurred was a simple misunderstanding, yet I get treated like an irresponsible child . . . by a licensed therapist! Where was the understanding? I was told she understands the harried and unpredictable life of a SAHM and she "has a heart" for us. All I could think was, maybe other SAHM's don't have a life like I do . . . maybe they are much more together and don't have kids that get sick at really inconvenint times . . . . .regularly. I don't know, but what I do know is that I won't be going back to see her. I'll pay her what I owe for the missed sessions and then let her know it's not going to work out.

I think I might stick with other therapy options at this point. Taking an hour to get a manicure/pedicure can be just as relaxing and much less expensive - and nobody gets mad at me.