Some Thoughts Before I Sleep

As I lie in bed, reading my book, thankful that a migraine seems to be disappearing, I think about mothering. I think this:
I want to know. I want to hear. The words said in his funny way of saying them. Yes, I'm tired, I've spent the whole day with him, you'd think I'd be ready for a break, but as I have the opportunity to listen as he's in his room alone, quieting down for sleep, I turn up the monitor - so I can hear. I hear pages of a book being turned, and his little voice telling the words of the story he's memorized. Now he's talking to his stuffed dog, and does the voice for his dog answering back. He makes a few "rocketship" sounds and the minutes pass; he speaks less and less and now I only hear the sound of tired sighs and yawns. I want to know - the things that capture his little mind and aid him in his journey to the land of peaceful slumber. He will continue to grow and move on from this phase of his life, but when I turn up that monitor and listen in, I get to capture in my memory these small and happy sounds. I'm sure it doesn't make sense . . that it's not rational or logical that the one person who I've been with the whole day captures my attention in these final moments before sleep. I"ll see him in a few short hours, to spend another whole day living life and doing the daily job of being a mom. But I think that's part of what makes motherhood so special and amazing . . it's not rational at all. But, then again, I don't think that's what we count on love to be - logical, rational - we count on it to be amazing, daring, willing to be inconvenienced and ready to do anything for those we love. If we are loving, and in doing so, going beyond ourselves, we do the very thing that doens't make any sense.

Blog? What Blog?

So, my blogging entries have been few and far between lately. A combo of summer/outdoor busy-ness, working on our house to get it ready to sell, and . . . . . laziness??? Yeah, sometimes I even think of great things to blog about, but then the motivation goes right out the door. I'm actually still in that lazy mindset, but I wanted to blog anyways - I'm sure my readers (all 3 of them at this point) will greatly appreciate it. (he, he - sure they will) I'm so lazy that I could be giving you some great links here too . . . but the effort to do that is beyond me . . . . web addresses might do the trick. Some things I've been giving some thought to lately:
A list of actors that would make it on a "hottie" list, if I had one (well, I guess I do now). Thanks to Gina for this one (objustanotherday.blogspot.com). A few that come to mind.

Christian Bale - currently in Batman Begins, but also GREAT in Little Women.
Matthew Broderick (married to Sarah Jessica Parker) I first loved him in Ladyhawke (1985), and was completely smitten in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
I'm usually more into the 'adorable' look than complete hunkiness . . . . for example in the movie "How To Win A Date With Tad Hamilton", I really like Topher Grace, but there's no arguing on the off-the-chart handsomeness of his co-star Josh Duhamel. I think he's also on the series "Las Vegas" and was part of the Gap ad campaign last fall. It's one of those times where you find yourself thinking 'how can somone BE that good-looking?', (or in the case of Brooke Shields or Halle Berry, 'it's just not fair to the rest of us!')
I will concur with Gina on Matthew McConaughey, and although I could also agree about her pick of Viggo Mortenson from the Lord of the Rings Triology, my top pick from those films would have to be Orlando Bloom.

I guess this post is the equivalent to "summer lite". A movie I'm planning on seeing very soon, but with no human actors to drool over - I mean, appreciate, is "March Of the Peguins". I might even take my 2 1/2 yr. old too.

Center of the Universe

I've got a question (or two) for anyone who so desires to answer. What exactly does it look like to have your life revolve around your child? When is someone being a responsible, dedicated & loving parent, and when do they officially "cross the line" into possible obsession? When sacrifices are required be a parent, how does one defend such sacrifices as a normal part of parenting? The time one has to be a parent at any one particular phase is so short, and as I'm reminded by so many, it all goes by quickly. So, I do try to savor the moments as best I can and take advantage of the time and opportunities. I have happy memories.

By the way, the sleeping in the 'big-kids-bed' is generally going well. It took about 4 nights for him to get used to it, and now he doesn't ask to sleep in his crib anymore. He does imagine that things in his room are something scary, and so we go around and point out how it's not scary because it's just a toy, shadow, etc.

I'm officially feeling old today because I've started taking a 'Women's Multi Vitamin'. I will be 35 in about 6 weeks, and it freaks me out a bit. I'm hoping the vitamins will help with my energy levels, or lack thereof.

The posts will get more interesting . . . .. I promise.

This is the Week

As of today, our son has a new 'big-boy-bed'. It's a toddler bed. We have probably done this all wrong, as we didn't really prepare him for it, except for reading a book about big-boy beds a few times. . . . . . over the past few months. Well, the crib is no longer in one piece, so it's not an option, and the bed is all set in his room. It's naptime . . . he's been playing in there now for about an hour. He gets down from the bed and brings various toys back to the bed to play with. Normally I really plan for transitions like these, but this seemed to be a bit more haphazzard and I think we're going to be paying for it. Or, it could just be the normal transition pains of moving to the new bed. Sleep will happen at some point. If anyone has any tips for how to get him to stay in the bed, I'm all ears. Thanks!

Movies

Over the past few months I've had the chance to see some movies . . . . in the theaters! Netflix is not longer my sole support of movie watching. Anyways, just wanted to share a few thoughts on what I've seen so far, and some that are coming out soon.

Cinderella Man: Very good. Great acting & great story.

Crash: Very controversial and a little in your face with stuff.

Batman Begins: This one surprised me in a very good way. Christain Bale does an amazing job as Batman. The script is intelligent and not-cheesy. Some parts were a little creepy, in a horror-film kind of way, but I just closed my eyes at those parts.

Preview of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Usually I'm a big fan of any Tim Burton film, but Johnny Depp just looks too weird in this one for me. He's a little too pale, and the smile is just errie.

That's all for now. Wedding Crashers looks pretty darn funny. Might have to shell-out the ten bucks to see that one.

A Woman's Calling

I've been reading lately, on various blogs and in books, about the role of women in today's world- specifically women who are mothers. There are some who make the case for a college education (which I think is great - I'm looking forward to the day when I can go back to get my Masters degree). Others say the best place for moms is at-home, and then the ones who say not only are we to be at-home to raise our children but we must educate them ourselves as well (i.e. homeschooling). There are also places that encourage women to be the best mom's they can be, but to also keep their own interests alive and seek out opportunities that feed their minds and souls.

One of the books I'm reading is "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldredge. I was encouraged and challenged by this:
"We need you. We need you to awaken to God more fully and to awaken to the desires of the heart that he placed within you so that you will come alive to him and to the role that is yours to play. Perhaps your are meant to be a concert musician or a teacher. Perhaps you are meant to be a neurologist or a horse trainer. Perhaps you are to be an activist for ecology or the poor or the aged or the ill. You are certainly called to be a woman wherever else he leads you. And that is crucial, dear heart. Whatever your particular calling, you are meant to grace the world with your dance, to follow the lead of Jesus wherever he leads you. He will lead you first into himself: and then, with him, he will lead you into the world that he loves and needs you to love."

I think women who are called specifically to be a "stay-at-home-mom" have a particular joy, passion and beauty that radiates as they fulfill this call and do it wholeheartedly for the Lord. But there is also a place for those who have other callings. Some women have an ache in their soul to be and do something else as well- and that may very well come from God. I'm not talking about the world's version of a career - where making loads of money and living for oneself are the chief goals - or even for complete self-gratification when it's a career that doesn't invlove alot of financial reward. But, some women have a gift and a desire to do something other than motherhood in thier lives. To make anyone feel as though that is somehow wrong, or not in line with scripture, is misleading.

Without quoting extensively from the book, I have made a short list of the women both John & Stasi know and refer to in the book as those who have followed the call God put upon their lives:
A career missionary friend for 32 years, the last 14 spent in Columbia ministering in the country's most notorious prisons.

An Ivy-League graduate from a home with both parents as professionals, a brother with a law degree and a sister who is a physican - who just gave up an amazing career to be a stay-at-home-mom to her newborn son. This was her calling - "there's nothing she'd rather do" - but her family and friends don't understand.

An 18-yr old young woman who loves God and felt called to compete in one of the most grueling athletic events - the Iditarod. She became the youngest person to complete this race.

A women's ministry leader, who served faithfully for decades and then was called by God to leave this ministry and "sit at his feet. Alone. He called her to leave her position on the church staff . . .and to quit leading her Bible study and accountability group. He asked her to become a woman of 'one thing'- to become a Mary, a woman devoted to worship. To minister to the heart of God." In chosing to heed this call she was chastised publicly for "abandoning the Great Comission", and she was accused and misunderstood.

The list of examples is followed by this statement: "You see, our true places as women in God's story are as diverse and unique as wildflowers in a field." Earlier in the chapter there is also a list of women from the Bible who had equally diverse callings, and included there are Rahab, Esther, Lydia, Nympha & Apphia, and Priscilla.

I think I'll be needed to do a "Part II" on this, as I'm running out of time. People have referred to seasons in a woman's life, and how we can celebrate those different seasons for each other, whatever they look like. I would hope that as we look at the season of motherhood, especially of young children, we can encourage each other along the way.